RSS

Monthly Archives: April 2011

“Honey!” “Mommy!” and other reasons your home office door needs a lock.

Old and new Diet Coke cans.

Image via Wikipedia

How to cope with working from home with kids and a spouse.

My day generally starts out simply.  I wake up at 6:45 a.m.to get my older daughter on the bus.  Once the bus has come and gone, I either go back to sleep until my younger daughter wakes up if it was a late night, or start my morning pages and various other writing projects.  I try for the latter because that part of my day, when nobody is awake or home to ask me for help, is by far the most productive part of my day.

Once my younger daughter is awake, there is breakfast to make, videos to start, preschool work to do, errands and many other demands.  If I manage to quiet her down, my husband wakes up and then there is preparation to make so he can get out the door to work.  If I’m not careful and don’t get the littler one down for her nap before H. gets back from school, I can potentially have no free time until after they’re all in bed.  On a bad night, that’s not before 11 p.m.if naptime was too late.  This I try to avoid at all costs.

If your life is anything like mine, you might wonder how you are ever supposed to do anything when there are only 24 hours in a day and you occasionally like to spend one or two of them sleeping.  It definitely isn’t easy.

One thing you can do, which I already mentioned above, is to wake up before everyone else.  Having time totally to yourself is invaluable.  It gives you planning time so you know what you are looking to do that day.  It gives you time to review your long-term goals so you can remind yourself why your daily tasks are on your list and make sure that what you are doing helps advance those goals.  Taking time in the morning to have a cup of tea (or coffee or, in my case, Diet Coke) while you gather your thoughts is in itself a terrifically productive way to start your day.

I do, however, realize that many of you have no way of having time to yourself in the morning unless you start setting your alarm for 3 a.m., and I wouldn’t ask anyone to do that.  So what else can you do?

Having a door on your office is a great idea, particularly if you have one that locks, but it is not always practical.  I had an office until we found out I was pregnant with my youngest daughter.  I was out one office so we could have another bedroom.  My “office” is now in the kitchen on what was the breakfast bar.  The setup works well because it is centrally located, but it doesn’t allow for much privacy or alone time.  Even when I had an office it wasn’t possible to just lock myself in there and let my kids run wild unsupervised in the rest of the house.

Another solution is to schedule writing time.  There are various ways to do this.  I work during nap times.  I have a babysitter (named Grandma) come in twice a week to watch M. while I work.  When it’s nice she takes M. to her house and I have quiet as well as free time.  On the days when she watches M. at our house, I often leave.  I can work in a café or the local library and have a lot more real work time than I can at home.  I work after the kids are in bed (if it isn’t too late), especially on nights when my husband is working late or out with friends.

One thing you absolutely need to be if you are working from home is organized.  I don’t mean that your house should be a clutter-free museum to organization, although that might actually be ideal for some.  What I mean is that when you have work time scheduled, you should not be on Twitter.  Or Reddit.  Or Facebook.  Or texting friends.  You need to be sticking to those things that you put on your “To Do” list to carry out during your work time.  That is of the utmost importance.  I cannot count the number of wasted days I have spent “working” only to realize later that I accomplished nothing but catching up on my favorite blogs.    All of those things do have value in their own ways.  All I’m saying is that if your time is limited, you can’t afford to spend all of it doing tasks that are not directly work-related.  In my case, reading blogs and Reddit and keeping up with people on Twitter does have value from a social media standpoint.  Emailing or texting friends and family keeps me sane(ish).  But if I’m not leaving time to write, I’m not much of a writer am I?

Working from home often comes down to discipline.  When you work at an office or store or some other outside site, there are people there watching.  Your boss, your co-workers, your customers—all of them will notice if you show up late or if you spend your day on Digg.  They’ll notice if your work doesn’t get done.  When you are at home, you are your boss.  You are your co-workers.  You are the one who knows if you aren’t keeping up.  If you can’t manage yourself, you are the one who suffers.  Yes, other people can cause interruptions, but if you don’t learn to work around them you won’t accomplish anything at all.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on April 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

A new post, in which I update you and vent simultaneously

As those of you who follow me on Twitter already know in part, I went to court with my ex-husband yesterday and lost.  What this means is that I have to put my house on the market, pack up my family and find a new place to live.  Our divorce settlement called for me to pay him his half of the equity ($25,000, which I do not happen to have on hand) in our house and remove him from the mortgage.  I have been unable to do so (there is no equity and while he is a signer on the mortgage deed as part owner of the house, he is not on the note and therefore owes the bank nothing), so he has insisted I put the house up for sale.

Since there is really no equity, it will be a short sale meaning that he gets no money from the sale.  Since he is not on the note it doesn’t affect his credit either way.  The reason his attorney gave is that it is affecting his ability to buy a home of his own.  He is unemployed and has been for two years.  During our marriage he was unemployed twice for 6 months each time.  He is training to get a part-time job as a pharmacy tech, and lives with his mom.  He has neither the ability nor the intention of ever buying a house of his own.  He lived with his mom before we got married (he was 35) and will stay there because it’s free.  We bought a house because I insisted, found a house, did all the work to get the financing, and just told him when and where to show up to sign the papers.  He won’t do it on his own.  That is something I know, but knowing and being able to prove it in court are two different things.  So the court agreed with him, and I have to sell the house.  It’s ridiculous.  My older daughter, H., is devastated.  My younger one is concerned about moving because she’s three and doesn’t really understand what it means.  My son, who lives mostly with his dad so he can attend school in that town, was already angry at his dad for reasons of his own and this isn’t helping.

That however, is the end of my petty rant.  My house is 80 years old.  It is a nightmare of a “handyman’s special,” and getting rid of it in and of itself is probably a blessing.  If it weren’t for the fact that I hate moving, that I like my yard and that the kids absolutely don’t want to be uprooted, I’d thank my ex for forcing me to move on.

Since I was either prepping for court or in court all day yesterday, I did not post or do any writing.  Today I spent the day with my husband (he had the day off) and my daughters.  Now I’m ready to get back to work.  My new schedule will need to include packing and cleaning to get the property ready for sale, but I do not want to let my writing and blogging take a back burner either.

One thing I want to do, and now have even more incentive to do, is clean out my house and throw away as much as possible.  The less I keep, the less I have to move.

So bear with me if my posts are slightly more sporadic than I had planned, although I will try to keep them up to date now that court is done and the decision is made.  I’m not sure how soon we will be moving.  My ex’s attorney’s plan was to have the house sold in the next 60 days by lowering the price until someone made an offer, but the judge didn’t approve that yesterday since it wouldn’t give me much time to get the house on the market, find a buyer, and find a new place to live.  Whether he will approve it at a later date I don’t know.  I will say if you ever have to go through this, make sure you can afford a lawyer.  I can’t, but we make too much for me to qualify for any free legal aid.  Going it on your own nearly guarantees that you’ll lose in my recent experience.

The writer in me has been considering the story possibilities surrounding this experience, both as fiction and as non-fiction/memoir-style writing, so I can’t call it a total loss.

Once we find a place, I’ll probably post a pic of it and an update.  Until then, keep writing and I will too!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Monday Morning Writing Challenge #2

A small pad of Post-It notes.

Image via Wikipedia

Good morning all!  I am in a post-Easter chocolate stupor, so I’ll get right to the prompt this week.

If this writing prompt inspires you, use it.  If you’d like to share what you write, feel free to post it in the comments or even send it to me if you don’t want to share it publicly.  Either way, I’d love to see any writing based on my prompts.

If it doesn’t inspire you, I hope you will keep reading anyway.  Maybe something in the next prompt, or another post, will.

It is a windy early Spring day.  You have the entire day free to do whatever you want.  What are you going to do?  Are you going to invite anyone to spend the day with you, or enjoy time to yourself?  Does it turn out good, or disastrous? 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 25, 2011 in Writing Prompt

 

Tags: , , ,

Happy Easter!


Easter eggs dyed with H. and M. tonight.

To all who celebrate it, Happy Easter.  To those who don’t, Happy Springtime!

Either way, have a terrific day, and expect a new writing prompt tomorrow morning.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 24, 2011 in Holidays

 

Tags: , ,

My First Rejection Letter

Bush-cricket 02 (MK)

Image via Wikipedia

I got my first rejection today from Cricket Magazine Group for a short story I submitted in March.  I wasn’t really surprised since it’s the first YA story I’ve ever sent out.  I wasn’t expecting to have my first piece picked up.  Not that it wouldn’t have been nice, but either way I’m glad I’m starting to get things out there.

The rejection was a standard form letter with no comments, so nothing particularly helpful, but at least they responded.  There’s nothing worse than sending in a story (or query or resume) and hearing nothing at all.  You don’t know if they weren’t interested, or if it just never got there.  I’d rather know.

Have you sent out any queries or stories lately?

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2011 in writing

 

Friday Find

The Spirit of Joanna

Image by Rosa Say via Flickr

I read Joanna Paterson’s blog, Confident Writing, and have been doing so for a while now.  Mostly I get it by RSS feed, but I stop by her site at least once a week too.  Joanna writes about writing and about poetry and specializes, as she puts it, in “unsticking words.”  She deals a lot with blogging and having confidence in your writing, as the title suggests.

In the time I’ve been reading her blog, I’ve found her posts helpful and often insightful.  The reason I also visit her site, not just read her feed, is that she has a beautiful blog.  It is very well set up with a clean, uncluttered feel that appeals to me.  The photography she uses to accompany posts is gorgeous, and frequently her own work.  I like being able to find more posts on topics that have caught my eye, and to get further information or advice through these additional posts.

Joanna is a journal coach, and offers hour-long coaching sessions via Skype to help people learn to “unstick” their words.  The coaching sessions involve helping them figure out what exactly is going on with their writing, how and why they are stuck, how to get unstuck and what to do next.  I haven’t taken advantage of this service (so far), but she is the first person I would go to if I ran into a writer’s block I couldn’t seem to break through on my own.

If you haven’t yet checked out her blog, I highly recommend it.  I look forward to each post, and hope to learn even more from Joanne as time goes on.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 22, 2011 in Friday Find

 

Pre-Easter Status Report

Hanácké kraslice, a traditional way of decorat...

Image via Wikipedia

Right now I am a little over 1/4 way through the first revision of my book.  I’ve worked on it some this week, but not a lot because it’s been a busy week here with the kids on vacation.  I plan to spend a minimum of half an hour a day out of my writing time working on it, but more if possible.  I still expect to be half way through by the end of the month.

I have the kids for the rest of the week (the older two were with their dad until Wednesday).  We don’t really have anything planned, except for Easter dinner at my in-laws’ house, and we don’t have use of a car because mine died yet again.  Chris needs the working one for…well, work.

I am working on straightening the house a bit, writing, editing and of course blogging.  Oh, and reading!  I am in the middle of three books, and have just taken on a fourth to review so I want to get into that one soon so I can post a review in the near future.  I may review all four, but I’m not sure yet.

I’ve noticed an upswing in the number of visitors here since I started blogging regularly, and with more organized posts.  I hope it’s a sign of a developing trend, and not just temporary.  I’ve enjoyed posting more, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading more posts.  Feel free to comment if anything sticks out in your mind as particularly good or bad.  Otherwise, have a great night and enjoy your weekend.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 21, 2011 in Blogging, Kids and Family, writing

 

Book Review: The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

To say I had high expectations of this book is an understatement.  I had heard great things about it, had been hearing great things about it in fact for quite a while before its actual publication.  The fact that I follow Eleanor Brown’s partner, J.C. Hutchins, on Twitter only added to the amount of build-up I heard about it.  I loved the story idea, loved the look of the book–it has a great cover–and just would have been very disappointed if it hadn’t lived up to my expectations.

That can be the kiss of death for a book, or anything for that matter.  When something is so built up, its almost as if it can’t help but fail.  How often is reality as good as your fantasy image of what it will be?

In this case, the reality was as good, if not better, than what I had expected.  I read this book as quickly as I could because I was stealing whatever moments I could during my day (and night) to read more of it.  I didn’t want to put it down because reading it, I became so thoroughly invested in the lives of the characters.

The story revolves around the Andreas sisters; Rose, Bean and Cordy.  All three are named after Shakespearean characters (Rosalind, Bianca and Cordelia) because their father is a well-known professor and expert on Shakespeare.  Each of the sisters followed a very different path from the others in their adult lives.  Rose stayed in their hometown to find work at a college in the area, and is now a well-respected mathematics professor in her own right.  Bean goes for the big city life, working at a financial firm in New York and shunning anything to do with small-town life.  Cordy, the baby, has so far avoided growing up by living a vagabond’s life on the road.  All three find themselves back home after Rose moves there to care for their sick mother, Bean has a personal disaster that causes her to flee the city, and Cordy…well, Cordy needs to figure out her life once and for all.

I enjoyed the interactions between the sisters, loved their Shakespeare-spouting father (having studied Shakespeare quite a bit as an English major) and their gentle but no-nonsense mother.  The peripheral characters were also captivating, and the relationships between all of the characters are what made this book so hard to put down.

I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a good story, because that is exactly what it is.

Rating:  5 stars

 
1 Comment

Posted by on April 20, 2011 in Book Review

 

Tags: , , , ,

Other People’s News: Happy Birthday Amy!

birthday cake

Image by freakgirl via Flickr

Today is my childhood best friend’s birthday.  I would never give away her age, but suffice it to say that no matter what it is, she will always be younger than me.  I can’t be there for her birthday–she lives in Florida, I live in Connecticut–so I want to be sure that she knows how much she is loved and missed, and that I would never have gotten through childhood without her friendship.

Happy Birthday Amy!  I hope this year is your best so far.

With love,

Lara

 
1 Comment

Posted by on April 20, 2011 in Other People's News

 

My Favorite Young Children’s Books

Cover of "The Monster at the End of this ...

Cover via Amazon

Tuesday Top Ten

1.  Know what?  No, what? by Arline Baum published in 1964 by Parents’ Magazine Press

As far as I know this book is out of print, but I’m including it anyway because it was my very favorite book as a child.  It’s a story of two children talking to each other and imagining different and fantastic things.  The artwork is beautiful, done in just a couple of colors.  As an adult, I love anything that encourages a child’s imagination, so I found a used copy of it for my own kids.

2.  The Little Book by Sherl Horvath published by Golden Books

This is a simple rhyming book about things that are little.  (“A little train is a caboose.  A little Indian is a  papoose.”)  It was a very close second in my list of favorite books when I was a child, and now I absolutely love the beautiful illustrations.  It is a little outdated, as you can see in the excerpt above, but it is still a cute book to read to little ones.

3.  There’s a Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone and Michael Smollin (a Sesame Street book)

For anyone not familiar with this, it stars lovable, furry old Grover.  In it, Grover speaks directly to the reader urging them not to turn pages because that gets them closer to the monster at the end of the book.  It never fails to make my youngest daughter laugh, and had the same effect on me when I was her age.

4. Chicken Soup with Rice by Maurice Sendak

A rhyme for each month, with Sendak’s wonderful artwork.

5.  Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

This is a classic.  It has been studied in literature classes, and read by generations of children.  Can you find the mouse on each page?

6.  Chica Chica Boom Boom by Bill Martin, Jr. and John Archambeault

One of the best alphabet books ever, the rhymes are catchy and the colors are vibrant.  It’s fun to read and to hear.

7.  Brown Bear,  Brown Bear by Erik Carle

My youngest daughter has known this book by heart since she was two.  It is so easy to learn, and has Erik Carle’s beautiful artwork.  It’s also a great way to teach colors.

8.  The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Erik Carle

I couldn’t decide between the two, I’ll admit it.  This book was always just so much fun, with all the little pages and the holes eaten through them.

9.  But Not the Hippopatomus by Sandra Boynton

I actually had a very hard time deciding which Sandra Boynton book to choose.  I love all of them, and it was a very close call between this one and The Going to Bed Book, but this one won out.  The book is about a shy hippo overcoming her nervousness and joining in with the other animals to play.  I was a shy kid, so I’m always a fan of this kind of book.

10.  Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardtd

Another classic, this book is fun because there is something to do on every page.  My favorite part was always smelling the flowers.  It seemed like magic to me when I was very little that the flowers actually smelled.  Silly now, I know, but it’s still my favorite part.

What are your favorite books for young children?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 19, 2011 in Top Ten List

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 171 other followers